Taking the Training Wheels Off

Theory Shameory: The Bridging the Disconnect between Money Thoughts and Money Practice

I have to admit that I am a self-help buff. I love the idea of looking within with the goal of leaving better than when I chartered out...moving some stuff in, throwing some stuff out, collapsing this, expanding that... you get the hint. But, here is the caveat about self-help. It does not work without practice. AND it requires patience, commitment, and adaptive problem-solving.
The only way that you know you have transformed is not when things are ideal: when there is nothing that you see that is cute in the store, you have no battling financial priorities, or you have a volume of discretionary income (although some pundits that there is never discretionary income see Michelle Singletary) but when your financial circumstances are complex: you like to shop but you need to save for school, you just got paid and your irresponsible sister asks for a loan, you received a promotion and a raise and the pressure to keep up with the Joneses is surfacing...

Taking Off the Training Wheels

In the latest Essence or Ebony, it would be easy to take a quiz on financial theory, tally your score, and label yourself highly financially savvy or literate. There is nothing easy about standing strong in this consumer-heavy, predatory world. But you know that you have learned everything that you can learn about this. Now, it is time for you to get out there and make moves. Will you make mistakes? Possibly! Will you revert to your spending ways when times are tough? Perhaps! Will you be better off, more confidence, more self-authoring, a pleasure to around, an envy to your former unevolved financial self? ABSOLUTELY!

Never Go To War Without Armor

It's your choice and you can double and even triple-up depending on the financial situation. Choose from any of the following as you build-- dollar by dollar, decision by decision, reflection by reflection, YOUR financial future. Solid. Meaningful.

1. Create and repeat your money mantra.
2. Do NOT go there if you know you are tempted to spend.
3. Call your girlfriend to smack some sense (cents) into you.
4. Leave your wallet at home.
5. Create a budget and stick to it.
6. Make it a community efforts.
7. Ask to speak to the manager. "I am willing to pay..."
8. Barter with girlfriends.
9. Pack your lunch.
10. Leave it for 2 days then come back.
11. See if you have it in your house already.
12. Clean your house and sell whatever is left.
13. Turn your passions into profit.
14. Marry wealthy. (SIKE! just to see if you're paying attention)
15. Pay in cash.
16. Stick with big bills.
17. Find several functions for one thing. (Think: Is that a plastic bag or shower cap?)
18. Eat less.
19. Pick up the phone, don't send a text. (pre-pay it)
20. Ask for sponsor.
21. Stay in.
22. Journal about it.
23. Buy it used/Share it.
24. Don't be afraid to negotiate.
25. Return it if you can.
26. Pay yourself first.
27. Look within instead of around.

Coming Out of Retirement

Coming Out of Retirement

I feel like Jay-Z. My public has spoken. They want those gentle reminders to save, to stop spending, to get their stuff together. And as a good public servant, I must oblige. Here are a few things that you need to reflect on before the summer gets you too lazy to stay focused.

Summer-Ready Money Checklist

• Have you started saving for retirement? checked the beneficiaries on any financial accounts? reevaluated your risk tolerance?
• Have you been keeping your spending journal current?
• Have you written a will? (Even though we are young, getting started early when there is time helps us avoid panicking, confusion, and fighting when you have already passed.)
• How is your emergency fund with 6-12 months expenses looking?
• Are you paying your bills when they come or are you waiting for a "convenient time" to pay?
• Are you using your summer sun time locked up in a mall shopping?
• Have you set short-term, manageable goals (ie earn through saving or extra work $1,000 per month for 10 months for the down-payment on that house) ?
• Have you transformed a passion or hobby into a profitable endeavor?
• Have you aligned your spending patterns with what you truly love? (That is, are you spending all of your money on lattes when you really could be putting it toward that trip to Ghana you have been claiming you can't afford?)
• Are you selling stuff that you don't need on amazon.com, textbooks.com, or ebay.com?
• Are you hating on someone else for their financial discipline?

Going Away, Coming Home

This is one of the recurring themes throughout post-colonial Caribbean literature. The idea that one can't go home twice. The home that once was is no longer because the self that has left has transformed. I am happy to say, though, when it comes to my passion of financial empowerment for black women, this is not the case. I just needed some time to place other parts of my life in order. I can not promise the length and nature of my future blogs, because truthfully, like my Caribbean ancestors,  I am not the same person that started writing this blog a year ago. Can't pinpoint how she is different, but she told me that she wants to take it easy for the summer. 

Marriage, Feminism, Babies and Love: A Reaction to Rebecca Walker's Baby Love

Hey Marta,
Sorry for taking so long. Actually, I was in Limon, Costa Rica. Its a province along the Caribbean that is 40% black, descendants of Jamaicans mostly.

As for the discussion of marriage, feminism, and children, it has been a couple of months since I have read that book, been in that relationship (we broke up), and felt the pressure to think about any or all of the above. Honestly Marta, as it relates to some of the issues that Walker addressed in the book and my growing and ever deepening understanding of what it means to be a woman, I have decided to remove the labels and take it as humanly as possible. that is not an excuse or a way to avoid the topic, it's my approach to dealing with my tendency to be extreme, in and outside of the discussion of feminism.

I think that I was raised to be strong, resourceful, and self-sufficient as a survival strategy. I did not grow up around men. I did not know them and did not trust and/or like the ones that I knew including my father and brother at that time. They, honestly, did not serve as cornerstones to my existence. My mother did not date much, so I grew up thinking that it was normal to be alone, not to make much of men, and be comfortable and happy with it.

Fast forward to now, after having had relationships that ended because the men thought that I was not domestic enough, or emotionally available enough, or whatever... I really don't think about it so much now because I have found that when you actually like someone, you do things to make them happy within reason and it goes for both sides. I am dating this new guy, a Haitian dude, and I approach it with as much neutralness as possible, if you know what I mean. I think that working, studying, and hustling, makes anyone tired, so if I can, I will try to pick something up for him and I notice that he does the same for me.

I am learning that not all men want to dominate and often they have just as much fear and as many insecurities as it relates to losing self, abandonment, and hurt that women have. I feel that I have found that I am not a victim, and I think that feminism, at times, has a tendency to make you hyper-sensitive to the micro elements of dealing with another human being. As I have been dating and breaking up and thinking some more, I feel that the idea of "compromise" is a little appealing for me because I have done so much by myself in my life and I feel very self-actualized in a lot of ways... that the idea of working together with someone else would be challenging,but also very rewarding... a person that is worthy, of course.

As for babies, as a classroom teacher, I am not interested in having babies anytime soon. I am not interested, at this time, to sacrifice my free time, autonomy, or change the flow of my most basic and guarded rituals (ie. weekend retreats, emailing at 11 pm, sleep, movement without second thought). I keep the option open, though,because I think there will be a time when all that I am doing for/just/and all about me will lose its appeal and I am going to want more. I also think about the legacy that I feel that I will have to live up to. My mother is such a loving, nurturing, and giving woman and it frightens me that I would not live up to her legacy sometimes... you know? but then I think about how nice it would be to have a relationship that I had with my mother with my own daughter...-Kara

“Your Pen Can Be Your Best Frien':” Journaling and Money Metacognition

The August issue of American Journal of Preventive Medicine will publish Kaiser Permanente’s Center for Health Research findings which conclude that keeping a food diary can double an individual’s weight loss effort Similarly, a study in The New England Journal of Medicine uncovered that those that did not jot down their food intake on a daily basis underestimated their caloric levels by an average of 1,050 calories.

Generally speaking, the act of journaling—the process of reflecting and thinking metacognitively on a particular set of behaviors and decisions— is an excess-management tool that can prove successful for not just overeaters, but for overspenders as well.  Many financial coaches encourage overspenders to keep meticulous notes about their purchases in order to identify patterns in their spending habits, holes in their budgets, and areas for money management improvement. Less attention is paid to the psycho-emotional triggers that provoke and incite extraordinary consumption.

However, when it comes to embarking on the road to financial recovery, unearthing the why of spending, is just as important as detailing the what of spending. Include observations, anecdotals, and notes on the nature of your financial environment, external spending triggers, and saving incentives as an integral step toward achieving a fuller, more holistic, and more realistic picture of your spending persona.

 

1. Detail the Number and Nature of Income-Generating Establishments in Your Immediate Spending Environment.

There is a strong connection between t the nature of our immediate commercial environment and what we spend our money on.  I live in a predominately black, working class community in Queens and the appeal to spend my money is geared toward acquiring certain products and services over others.

 Within a three-block radius, there emerged a strong message about the options that I have in my neighborhood as a consumer.  I counted 5-7 different storefront churches, 3-5 barber/beauty salons, 5-7 franchised or “mom and pop” fast food restaurants, 2-4 corner stores (or bodegas), 2 supermarkets, 1 library, 1 check cashing place, and a liquor store. Implicit in the disproportionate representation of certain types of stores and the all-together absence of others (i.e. community centers, bookstores, doctor’s offices, banks), is that money in my community should not go beyond catering to personal wants; money in my community is better used for depreciable items, not for investments and savings; money in my community will be used (ironically enough) toward my nutritional detriment.  The next time you take a walk through your neighborhood, take note of what your commercial district is telling you about money.

2. Track How You Spend with Your Friends.

Are you a teacher, social worker, or not-for-profit administrator that is expected to spend as freely as your f investment banker and corporate lawyer friends at parties, social gatherings, or restaurants?  Are you an “up and coming” young professional with a lot of “starving artists”, “down-on-your-luck” friends that is expected to cover their expenses when it comes to most social outings? Writing down how your financial behaviors shift when dealing with friends will illuminate patterns; this data, if used, can shape your future interactions and money-related dealings with them. 

3. Monitor Your Emotional Triggers While Overexposed to Media Antics

The tendency to overspend, like the tendency to overeat, is rooted in our emotions. Despite what people would like to think, money is a matter of the heart and soul. Our belief systems and our learned behaviors from friends and family dictate a lot of our spending habits. But you know what especially drives our consumption? Big ‘ol juicy insecurity! Yes, the fear that we just missed the mark, are not quite as good as (fill in the blank), and are inherently flawed. Overexposure to big business media antics compounds this fear and drives you to spend. Concretely, while watching television, pay close attention to how you feel after you imbibe the lies that media try to extol. Are you insecure about your beauty? If so, monitor how you feel after sex is sold to push new make-up products, gym memberships, and diet systems. Are you insecure about the amount of money that you make? Be cognizant of how you feel about yourself and your financial priorities after watching commercials for luxury vehicles, reality shows that flaunt wealth and fame, or movies that romanticize excess.

 

 

"Let's Make It a Vacation to Remember”: Taking Time Off to Put Your House of Finances in Order.

Let's Make a Vacation Out of It
Data from the World Tourism Organization (WTO) find that America ranks amongst the lowest in developed countries in the average annual amount of vacation time their citizens receive. Member-countries of the European Union (EU) like Italy, Germany, France, and the United Kingdom receive, on average, 42 days, 37 days, 35 days, and 28 days; respectively for time-off. Canadians benefit from an average of 26 days of leisure time yearly; the Japanese receive 25 days, while the United States trails behind with 13 days per year.
The United States is also one of the only developed nations without vacation-time minimums mandated by law. Employees in European Union countries are entitled to four-weeks paid vacation by law. For Canada and Japan, there is a legal mandate that workers receive a minimum of two weeks.
The irony of this phenomenon is that despite the paltry serving of freetime, Americans are reluctant to redeem their vacation time in its entirety. Some studies cite the behaviors of peers and supervisors as a major influence as to their unwillingness to leave the office. Other reports maintain that it is the demands of the workload that keep them chained to a desk and not smelling the roses.
Nonetheless, these reasons do not blur the necessity of taking time away from work. Distance from the job gives you perspective on your career decisions, reconnects you with your family, friends, and your inner self. If, however, you are an American that has completely internalized the Puritan work ethic and finds that time away from work is for the idle and weak, take a couple of days off anyway. But do not do it for rest, relaxation and fun, do it for reassessing the state of your finances, charting your next career moves, and streamlining your money outflow.

5 Vacation Do's and Dont's
1. Put it in writing.
With work not as priority for a few days,you will best able to reflect, create, and think on the shape of your finances. Get comfortable. Find a spot in your home where you are be alone. On three separate sheets of paper, you are going to brainstorm all of your financial accomplishments, your present financial responsibilities, and your future financial plans. Writing everything down gives you the beginnings of a blueprint and guide to gauge your progress toward your particular financial goals. Seeing your financial "have dones" and "have not dones" in black and write may allay your concerns, shift your financial priorities, or catapult you into action.
2. Get really defensive.
When it comes to money, we focus our attention on playing "financial offense". We actively engage in finding positions that pay more. We embark on financially sound endeavors--such as entrepreneurial projects, investment activities, and reading fiscally savvy magazines and books. That is, we seek to increase our income by bringing in more money. When we are on-the-go everyday, it is hard to stop and take total financial inventory. But maximizing our income also has to come from playing strong, if not stronger "financial defense." Unlike "financial offense", financial defense focuses on what income you already have and attempts to reduce what money goes out of the budget. Strengthening your "financial defense" can create as much surplus income as a part-time job if done methodically and consistently.
Things to think about during your days off could include: Are there cable services that I do not need? What foods do I seem to let spoil because I don't really eat them? Have I taken the 6-hour class to reduce my car insurance? Have I checked the website of my health insurance carrier for discounts on health and wellness services? Have I called my student loan provider to inquire if I could defer or cancel my loans in full or in part? Is there a way to reduce the amount of times I eat out? Could I be clipping more coupons?
3. Organize your files.
When we leave for work, we physically leave our homes. Given the demands of some of our jobs, we spend more time at work than we do our own homes. And once we return home, we may take a cursory glance at financial statements, policies, and reports or even pile them up with the intention of getting to get to them later. But usually our priorities boil down to tending to the basics: family, food, and rest in order to prepare ourselves for the same routine for the next day.
This trend leaves our finances in disarray. Make organizing your files a three to five day project. On the first day(s), locate your important policies, tax documents, titles, and deeds. Spend one day purchasing basic filing tools: folders, file cabinet, stapler/staples, paper clips, etc. On the final day(s), file accurately and systematically. Once the foundation has been created for storing and retrieving files, updating them should be quick and easy.
4. Clean-out closets.
With a few days to yourself, find out what hidden treasures and scary secrets lurk inside your closets. If you are cleaning a clothes closet, try the following the system: a) store out of season clothes away b) return unworn outfits with tickets to the store (if you can), c) identify clothes for consignment, trading with girlfriends, or potential yard sale, and d) set aside clothes that require repair, dry cleaning, and washing. If you are brave enough to tackle a closet with appliances, the system is much easier. For the appliances that you use, keep 'em. For the appliances that you don't, chuck 'em.
5. Pick up the phone.
There is only so much time that you can steal away from your job to conduct personal matters. The nature of correspondence that includes matters of money are usually time-consuming, involve paperwork, require follow-up, and include more than one person. Take advantage of your time at home to refute errors in your credit reports, schedule information interviews for prospective career advances, confirm doctor appointments, and negotiate with creditors about outstanding debt.

Penny-Wise and Pound Foolish: Asserting Financial Maturity in Spending Matters

The driving philosophy behind Our Time Press' On the Money has been one of mindful consumption, media savvy, and educated consumerism. Each week there has been a discussion on the importance of saving, curtailing indulgence, and reducing expenditure. There are financial circumstances, however, that warrant that we spend more in the present to stabilize our financial long-term goals and overall life plans. Avoiding the trap of being "penny-wise" and "pound-foolish" ", the phenomenon of being overly conscientious about trivial financial matters while simultaneously being inattentive to important ones to such an extent that opportunities to save or make large amounts are missed, are indicators of sensible, mature, and healthy financial outlook. 

Nutrition and Health

Taking your lunch to work each day has always been a habit of the financially advanced. With the average cost of a lunch between $8-$10 a day, you can stand the chance to save close to $200 monthly or $2,400 annually. The financial benefits of "brown-bagging" are based on the assumption that the lunch is healthy and provides the body with the needed nutrients to sustain basic or optimal health. It is not uncommon to hear people purchasing large amounts of fried food at fast food restaurants or  resigning their lunch options to cold cuts or a slice a pizza because they are inexpensive and keeps them from spending. If, however, a high fat, high salt diet serves as a mainstay in the life of the "pound-foolish," the small amount of money spared from lunch costs will be offset with price of exorbitant medical costs associated with treating conditions such a chronic anemia, high cholesterol, obesity, high blood pressure, or diabetes. 

Furniture and Appliances

A beautiful living space is important to many of us. When we see our inner style and taste reflected in our immediate environment, we experience a sense of belonging, peace, and connection to it.  While money is always at the bottom line of any purchase, buying a big-ticket item, which will be highly visible and often sentimental for items such as furniture and /or major appliances (i.e. washer/dryer, refrigerator, cooling system)  complicates the decision process. Buying low-quality appliances and furniture because they are inexpensive will be more costly in the long-run due to high wear-and-tear, high turnover due to replacement or dissatisfaction, and repair and maintenance fees. As a rule of thumb, buy once-in-a-while and well, so you don't have to buy often. 

Insurance

Life is full of uncertainty. That is why purchasing insurance , a risk management tool, of most kinds is so important and useful. Not only does insurance protects against catastrophic losses, it safeguards earnings and resources, and provides settlement money so that small claims do not turn out to be big ones. So, if you are planning to buy a plane-ticket  6-12 months in advance, buying travel insurance may come in handy to ensure that unforeseen commitments allow you to reschedule your flight without much hassle. Paying the $20 co-payment to see your doctor as soon as you are not feeling well may save you financially in the long-run. Early detection of an ailment make treatment more cost effective and sustainable. For those of you that drive around a city as congested as New York City without car insurance of any kind are looking for problems. Purchasing the most minimal amount of coverage protect you, your loved ones, and innocent bystanders with medical protection and legal recourse. 

Broke and Broken Hearted: Love, Marriage, and Money

Boy Meets Girl

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage." At least, that's how the song goes. Maybe lyrics of financial counseling or talks of money matters would put a damper to such a catchy and whimsical tune.  But Stella Dart, 34, a woman who graciously accepted an invitation to tell her story of love and money for Our Time Press, implores young adults to have the heavy, uncomfortable talks about money prior to nuptials, so marriage can have more dimension, perceptive and duration than that of the content of a school girl's love song. 

First Comes Love

KIS: So, tell me your story. 

SD: We met at a SOBs [Sounds of Brazil] at Varick Street. I was moving to California to start graduate school and I thought it was my last time going out in New York City.  Muhammed asked me to dance. I thought he was Brazilian. He seemed interested in what I had to say. He asked for my phone number and later told me that he was from Morocco which I later found out was a lie. He was really from Tunisia. 

KIS: Why would he lie about his nationality?

SD: Muhammed thought I would not know about Tunisia, which he was right about. So, he said Morocco because it was better known. Looking back, it was a pattern--lying-- smoothing things out with lies.  He had also lied about what school he went to. I guess because I was going to a prestigious school in California. 

Then Comes Marriage

KIS: But, obviously, you overlooked all of that and married him six months later. 

SD: Yes, because I was utterly swept off of my feet. 

KIS: What exactly, "swept you off of your feet?"

SD: Muhammed was very attentive. He understood my sense of humor--which not many people do. He was really smart and really sweet. He was emotionally open. He just...touched my heart. 

KIS: How old were you when you married?

SD:I was 26. I wasn't planning to get married, I was planning to go to California. 

KIS: Did you guys talk about financial roles and responsibilities before getting married?

SD: No. 

KIS: So, what were discussions around money and marriage like?

SD:The focus was on him getting himself educated and together. 

KIS: Wow!

Then Comes Fighting, Foreclosures and Your Finances Completely Disparaged

KIS: What did you begin to notice about his money management (or lack thereof) once you were married?

 I began to notice that there were cultural differences with regard to money.  For example, I noticed that a lot our money was tied to his family obligations back in Tunisia. Also, I realized that I was  very cautious with money, not materialistic. But he was concerned about name brands. It was annoying for him to care about that. He was always trying to keep up with the "Joneses." 

I also think that because he spent my money freely, he did not have respect for how hard I worked to earn it.  Now, I have more respect for my father now because he drove an hour and a half each way to a hell hole [referring to his job] because he had four kids. We went to camp. We went to college. Even if he did not like it, he still got up. 

With this marriage, I felt that I had no freedom or stability. And you are supposed to give up some freedom in exchange for stability with marriage. I got nothing. 

KIS: Where do you think you would be financially had you not married this guy?

SD: I would have probably stayed in California, perhaps in a different career from teaching. One that paid more. I would like to think that I would have had a down payment on a house by now. 

KIS: With hindsight being "20/20", what advice would you like to give for those thinking about marriage?

1. Look at a man's track record. Does he finish what he starts? If he didn't finish his education, ask why.
2. Look at his job history. Is he jumping from job to job. You want someone to prove that he has accomplished his goals--that he follows through. 
3. Don't have a joint checking and savings account for a while. 
4. Don't think about "potential." Look at what he has going for him right then, not the future. I used to think that Muhammed was really smart and could do so much. But now, I don't think about "could",  I look at who he is at face value...

KIS:   Wow!  Thank you for your insight. I appreciate your vulnerability, wisdom, and perspective. 

SD: You're welcome.