Marriage, Feminism, Babies and Love: A Reaction to Rebecca Walker's Baby Love

Hey Marta,
Sorry for taking so long. Actually, I was in Limon, Costa Rica. Its a province along the Caribbean that is 40% black, descendants of Jamaicans mostly.

As for the discussion of marriage, feminism, and children, it has been a couple of months since I have read that book, been in that relationship (we broke up), and felt the pressure to think about any or all of the above. Honestly Marta, as it relates to some of the issues that Walker addressed in the book and my growing and ever deepening understanding of what it means to be a woman, I have decided to remove the labels and take it as humanly as possible. that is not an excuse or a way to avoid the topic, it's my approach to dealing with my tendency to be extreme, in and outside of the discussion of feminism.

I think that I was raised to be strong, resourceful, and self-sufficient as a survival strategy. I did not grow up around men. I did not know them and did not trust and/or like the ones that I knew including my father and brother at that time. They, honestly, did not serve as cornerstones to my existence. My mother did not date much, so I grew up thinking that it was normal to be alone, not to make much of men, and be comfortable and happy with it.

Fast forward to now, after having had relationships that ended because the men thought that I was not domestic enough, or emotionally available enough, or whatever... I really don't think about it so much now because I have found that when you actually like someone, you do things to make them happy within reason and it goes for both sides. I am dating this new guy, a Haitian dude, and I approach it with as much neutralness as possible, if you know what I mean. I think that working, studying, and hustling, makes anyone tired, so if I can, I will try to pick something up for him and I notice that he does the same for me.

I am learning that not all men want to dominate and often they have just as much fear and as many insecurities as it relates to losing self, abandonment, and hurt that women have. I feel that I have found that I am not a victim, and I think that feminism, at times, has a tendency to make you hyper-sensitive to the micro elements of dealing with another human being. As I have been dating and breaking up and thinking some more, I feel that the idea of "compromise" is a little appealing for me because I have done so much by myself in my life and I feel very self-actualized in a lot of ways... that the idea of working together with someone else would be challenging,but also very rewarding... a person that is worthy, of course.

As for babies, as a classroom teacher, I am not interested in having babies anytime soon. I am not interested, at this time, to sacrifice my free time, autonomy, or change the flow of my most basic and guarded rituals (ie. weekend retreats, emailing at 11 pm, sleep, movement without second thought). I keep the option open, though,because I think there will be a time when all that I am doing for/just/and all about me will lose its appeal and I am going to want more. I also think about the legacy that I feel that I will have to live up to. My mother is such a loving, nurturing, and giving woman and it frightens me that I would not live up to her legacy sometimes... you know? but then I think about how nice it would be to have a relationship that I had with my mother with my own daughter...-Kara

“Your Pen Can Be Your Best Frien':” Journaling and Money Metacognition

The August issue of American Journal of Preventive Medicine will publish Kaiser Permanente’s Center for Health Research findings which conclude that keeping a food diary can double an individual’s weight loss effort Similarly, a study in The New England Journal of Medicine uncovered that those that did not jot down their food intake on a daily basis underestimated their caloric levels by an average of 1,050 calories.

Generally speaking, the act of journaling—the process of reflecting and thinking metacognitively on a particular set of behaviors and decisions— is an excess-management tool that can prove successful for not just overeaters, but for overspenders as well.  Many financial coaches encourage overspenders to keep meticulous notes about their purchases in order to identify patterns in their spending habits, holes in their budgets, and areas for money management improvement. Less attention is paid to the psycho-emotional triggers that provoke and incite extraordinary consumption.

However, when it comes to embarking on the road to financial recovery, unearthing the why of spending, is just as important as detailing the what of spending. Include observations, anecdotals, and notes on the nature of your financial environment, external spending triggers, and saving incentives as an integral step toward achieving a fuller, more holistic, and more realistic picture of your spending persona.

 

1. Detail the Number and Nature of Income-Generating Establishments in Your Immediate Spending Environment.

There is a strong connection between t the nature of our immediate commercial environment and what we spend our money on.  I live in a predominately black, working class community in Queens and the appeal to spend my money is geared toward acquiring certain products and services over others.

 Within a three-block radius, there emerged a strong message about the options that I have in my neighborhood as a consumer.  I counted 5-7 different storefront churches, 3-5 barber/beauty salons, 5-7 franchised or “mom and pop” fast food restaurants, 2-4 corner stores (or bodegas), 2 supermarkets, 1 library, 1 check cashing place, and a liquor store. Implicit in the disproportionate representation of certain types of stores and the all-together absence of others (i.e. community centers, bookstores, doctor’s offices, banks), is that money in my community should not go beyond catering to personal wants; money in my community is better used for depreciable items, not for investments and savings; money in my community will be used (ironically enough) toward my nutritional detriment.  The next time you take a walk through your neighborhood, take note of what your commercial district is telling you about money.

2. Track How You Spend with Your Friends.

Are you a teacher, social worker, or not-for-profit administrator that is expected to spend as freely as your f investment banker and corporate lawyer friends at parties, social gatherings, or restaurants?  Are you an “up and coming” young professional with a lot of “starving artists”, “down-on-your-luck” friends that is expected to cover their expenses when it comes to most social outings? Writing down how your financial behaviors shift when dealing with friends will illuminate patterns; this data, if used, can shape your future interactions and money-related dealings with them. 

3. Monitor Your Emotional Triggers While Overexposed to Media Antics

The tendency to overspend, like the tendency to overeat, is rooted in our emotions. Despite what people would like to think, money is a matter of the heart and soul. Our belief systems and our learned behaviors from friends and family dictate a lot of our spending habits. But you know what especially drives our consumption? Big ‘ol juicy insecurity! Yes, the fear that we just missed the mark, are not quite as good as (fill in the blank), and are inherently flawed. Overexposure to big business media antics compounds this fear and drives you to spend. Concretely, while watching television, pay close attention to how you feel after you imbibe the lies that media try to extol. Are you insecure about your beauty? If so, monitor how you feel after sex is sold to push new make-up products, gym memberships, and diet systems. Are you insecure about the amount of money that you make? Be cognizant of how you feel about yourself and your financial priorities after watching commercials for luxury vehicles, reality shows that flaunt wealth and fame, or movies that romanticize excess.

 

 

"Let's Make It a Vacation to Remember”: Taking Time Off to Put Your House of Finances in Order.

Let's Make a Vacation Out of It
Data from the World Tourism Organization (WTO) find that America ranks amongst the lowest in developed countries in the average annual amount of vacation time their citizens receive. Member-countries of the European Union (EU) like Italy, Germany, France, and the United Kingdom receive, on average, 42 days, 37 days, 35 days, and 28 days; respectively for time-off. Canadians benefit from an average of 26 days of leisure time yearly; the Japanese receive 25 days, while the United States trails behind with 13 days per year.
The United States is also one of the only developed nations without vacation-time minimums mandated by law. Employees in European Union countries are entitled to four-weeks paid vacation by law. For Canada and Japan, there is a legal mandate that workers receive a minimum of two weeks.
The irony of this phenomenon is that despite the paltry serving of freetime, Americans are reluctant to redeem their vacation time in its entirety. Some studies cite the behaviors of peers and supervisors as a major influence as to their unwillingness to leave the office. Other reports maintain that it is the demands of the workload that keep them chained to a desk and not smelling the roses.
Nonetheless, these reasons do not blur the necessity of taking time away from work. Distance from the job gives you perspective on your career decisions, reconnects you with your family, friends, and your inner self. If, however, you are an American that has completely internalized the Puritan work ethic and finds that time away from work is for the idle and weak, take a couple of days off anyway. But do not do it for rest, relaxation and fun, do it for reassessing the state of your finances, charting your next career moves, and streamlining your money outflow.

5 Vacation Do's and Dont's
1. Put it in writing.
With work not as priority for a few days,you will best able to reflect, create, and think on the shape of your finances. Get comfortable. Find a spot in your home where you are be alone. On three separate sheets of paper, you are going to brainstorm all of your financial accomplishments, your present financial responsibilities, and your future financial plans. Writing everything down gives you the beginnings of a blueprint and guide to gauge your progress toward your particular financial goals. Seeing your financial "have dones" and "have not dones" in black and write may allay your concerns, shift your financial priorities, or catapult you into action.
2. Get really defensive.
When it comes to money, we focus our attention on playing "financial offense". We actively engage in finding positions that pay more. We embark on financially sound endeavors--such as entrepreneurial projects, investment activities, and reading fiscally savvy magazines and books. That is, we seek to increase our income by bringing in more money. When we are on-the-go everyday, it is hard to stop and take total financial inventory. But maximizing our income also has to come from playing strong, if not stronger "financial defense." Unlike "financial offense", financial defense focuses on what income you already have and attempts to reduce what money goes out of the budget. Strengthening your "financial defense" can create as much surplus income as a part-time job if done methodically and consistently.
Things to think about during your days off could include: Are there cable services that I do not need? What foods do I seem to let spoil because I don't really eat them? Have I taken the 6-hour class to reduce my car insurance? Have I checked the website of my health insurance carrier for discounts on health and wellness services? Have I called my student loan provider to inquire if I could defer or cancel my loans in full or in part? Is there a way to reduce the amount of times I eat out? Could I be clipping more coupons?
3. Organize your files.
When we leave for work, we physically leave our homes. Given the demands of some of our jobs, we spend more time at work than we do our own homes. And once we return home, we may take a cursory glance at financial statements, policies, and reports or even pile them up with the intention of getting to get to them later. But usually our priorities boil down to tending to the basics: family, food, and rest in order to prepare ourselves for the same routine for the next day.
This trend leaves our finances in disarray. Make organizing your files a three to five day project. On the first day(s), locate your important policies, tax documents, titles, and deeds. Spend one day purchasing basic filing tools: folders, file cabinet, stapler/staples, paper clips, etc. On the final day(s), file accurately and systematically. Once the foundation has been created for storing and retrieving files, updating them should be quick and easy.
4. Clean-out closets.
With a few days to yourself, find out what hidden treasures and scary secrets lurk inside your closets. If you are cleaning a clothes closet, try the following the system: a) store out of season clothes away b) return unworn outfits with tickets to the store (if you can), c) identify clothes for consignment, trading with girlfriends, or potential yard sale, and d) set aside clothes that require repair, dry cleaning, and washing. If you are brave enough to tackle a closet with appliances, the system is much easier. For the appliances that you use, keep 'em. For the appliances that you don't, chuck 'em.
5. Pick up the phone.
There is only so much time that you can steal away from your job to conduct personal matters. The nature of correspondence that includes matters of money are usually time-consuming, involve paperwork, require follow-up, and include more than one person. Take advantage of your time at home to refute errors in your credit reports, schedule information interviews for prospective career advances, confirm doctor appointments, and negotiate with creditors about outstanding debt.

Penny-Wise and Pound Foolish: Asserting Financial Maturity in Spending Matters

The driving philosophy behind Our Time Press' On the Money has been one of mindful consumption, media savvy, and educated consumerism. Each week there has been a discussion on the importance of saving, curtailing indulgence, and reducing expenditure. There are financial circumstances, however, that warrant that we spend more in the present to stabilize our financial long-term goals and overall life plans. Avoiding the trap of being "penny-wise" and "pound-foolish" ", the phenomenon of being overly conscientious about trivial financial matters while simultaneously being inattentive to important ones to such an extent that opportunities to save or make large amounts are missed, are indicators of sensible, mature, and healthy financial outlook. 

Nutrition and Health

Taking your lunch to work each day has always been a habit of the financially advanced. With the average cost of a lunch between $8-$10 a day, you can stand the chance to save close to $200 monthly or $2,400 annually. The financial benefits of "brown-bagging" are based on the assumption that the lunch is healthy and provides the body with the needed nutrients to sustain basic or optimal health. It is not uncommon to hear people purchasing large amounts of fried food at fast food restaurants or  resigning their lunch options to cold cuts or a slice a pizza because they are inexpensive and keeps them from spending. If, however, a high fat, high salt diet serves as a mainstay in the life of the "pound-foolish," the small amount of money spared from lunch costs will be offset with price of exorbitant medical costs associated with treating conditions such a chronic anemia, high cholesterol, obesity, high blood pressure, or diabetes. 

Furniture and Appliances

A beautiful living space is important to many of us. When we see our inner style and taste reflected in our immediate environment, we experience a sense of belonging, peace, and connection to it.  While money is always at the bottom line of any purchase, buying a big-ticket item, which will be highly visible and often sentimental for items such as furniture and /or major appliances (i.e. washer/dryer, refrigerator, cooling system)  complicates the decision process. Buying low-quality appliances and furniture because they are inexpensive will be more costly in the long-run due to high wear-and-tear, high turnover due to replacement or dissatisfaction, and repair and maintenance fees. As a rule of thumb, buy once-in-a-while and well, so you don't have to buy often. 

Insurance

Life is full of uncertainty. That is why purchasing insurance , a risk management tool, of most kinds is so important and useful. Not only does insurance protects against catastrophic losses, it safeguards earnings and resources, and provides settlement money so that small claims do not turn out to be big ones. So, if you are planning to buy a plane-ticket  6-12 months in advance, buying travel insurance may come in handy to ensure that unforeseen commitments allow you to reschedule your flight without much hassle. Paying the $20 co-payment to see your doctor as soon as you are not feeling well may save you financially in the long-run. Early detection of an ailment make treatment more cost effective and sustainable. For those of you that drive around a city as congested as New York City without car insurance of any kind are looking for problems. Purchasing the most minimal amount of coverage protect you, your loved ones, and innocent bystanders with medical protection and legal recourse. 

Broke and Broken Hearted: Love, Marriage, and Money

Boy Meets Girl

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage." At least, that's how the song goes. Maybe lyrics of financial counseling or talks of money matters would put a damper to such a catchy and whimsical tune.  But Stella Dart, 34, a woman who graciously accepted an invitation to tell her story of love and money for Our Time Press, implores young adults to have the heavy, uncomfortable talks about money prior to nuptials, so marriage can have more dimension, perceptive and duration than that of the content of a school girl's love song. 

First Comes Love

KIS: So, tell me your story. 

SD: We met at a SOBs [Sounds of Brazil] at Varick Street. I was moving to California to start graduate school and I thought it was my last time going out in New York City.  Muhammed asked me to dance. I thought he was Brazilian. He seemed interested in what I had to say. He asked for my phone number and later told me that he was from Morocco which I later found out was a lie. He was really from Tunisia. 

KIS: Why would he lie about his nationality?

SD: Muhammed thought I would not know about Tunisia, which he was right about. So, he said Morocco because it was better known. Looking back, it was a pattern--lying-- smoothing things out with lies.  He had also lied about what school he went to. I guess because I was going to a prestigious school in California. 

Then Comes Marriage

KIS: But, obviously, you overlooked all of that and married him six months later. 

SD: Yes, because I was utterly swept off of my feet. 

KIS: What exactly, "swept you off of your feet?"

SD: Muhammed was very attentive. He understood my sense of humor--which not many people do. He was really smart and really sweet. He was emotionally open. He just...touched my heart. 

KIS: How old were you when you married?

SD:I was 26. I wasn't planning to get married, I was planning to go to California. 

KIS: Did you guys talk about financial roles and responsibilities before getting married?

SD: No. 

KIS: So, what were discussions around money and marriage like?

SD:The focus was on him getting himself educated and together. 

KIS: Wow!

Then Comes Fighting, Foreclosures and Your Finances Completely Disparaged

KIS: What did you begin to notice about his money management (or lack thereof) once you were married?

 I began to notice that there were cultural differences with regard to money.  For example, I noticed that a lot our money was tied to his family obligations back in Tunisia. Also, I realized that I was  very cautious with money, not materialistic. But he was concerned about name brands. It was annoying for him to care about that. He was always trying to keep up with the "Joneses." 

I also think that because he spent my money freely, he did not have respect for how hard I worked to earn it.  Now, I have more respect for my father now because he drove an hour and a half each way to a hell hole [referring to his job] because he had four kids. We went to camp. We went to college. Even if he did not like it, he still got up. 

With this marriage, I felt that I had no freedom or stability. And you are supposed to give up some freedom in exchange for stability with marriage. I got nothing. 

KIS: Where do you think you would be financially had you not married this guy?

SD: I would have probably stayed in California, perhaps in a different career from teaching. One that paid more. I would like to think that I would have had a down payment on a house by now. 

KIS: With hindsight being "20/20", what advice would you like to give for those thinking about marriage?

1. Look at a man's track record. Does he finish what he starts? If he didn't finish his education, ask why.
2. Look at his job history. Is he jumping from job to job. You want someone to prove that he has accomplished his goals--that he follows through. 
3. Don't have a joint checking and savings account for a while. 
4. Don't think about "potential." Look at what he has going for him right then, not the future. I used to think that Muhammed was really smart and could do so much. But now, I don't think about "could",  I look at who he is at face value...

KIS:   Wow!  Thank you for your insight. I appreciate your vulnerability, wisdom, and perspective. 

SD: You're welcome. 

5 Habits of the Highly Indebted

Brothers and Sisters From Another Mother?
The highly indebted by way of poor financial choices, consumer charging, and unrealistic standards of living come in an array of sizes, hues, shapes, languages, and ethnicities. Despite these superficial distinctions, there remains a unifying mentality and set of behaviors that unite this demographic. Their movements, habits of being, priorities, and ways of navigating have striking and eerie congruence.

5 Habits of the Highly Indebted
1. The highly indebted see an increase in income as an invitation to increase expenditure.
Whether it be a windfall through an inheritance or bonus or a steady increase in income from a raise or an investment dividend, more money is usually considered a positive and good thing. In responsible hands, it could be used for college-funds, bolstering emergency funds or paying off debt. For those with trouble staying in the black, however, more money may lead to more money problems, not less. This is because the highly indebted create a direct relationship with money and expenditure. That is, the more money there is, the more stuff there is to buy. In theory, this principle should not create any economic burdens if the increase in expenditure is offset by the increase in income. What gets the highly indebted in trouble is this is not their financial model. The increase in income inspires an increase in expenditure that is disproportionate to the amount of the rise of income. For example, a 10% increase in income may spur a 25% increase in spending, leading to more debt.



2. The highly indebted employ J. Wellington Wimpy logic to finance and commerce.
J. Wellington Wimpy or just Wimpy was the well-dressed, hamburger-eating friend of Popeye, the main character of Elzie Crisler Segar's cartoon and comic strip and cartoon of the same name. Wimpy was very intelligent and well-educated. His famous line, "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" reveals the less-than-flattering components of his financial persona. His financial identity was one based on the dependence of credit and loans. Interestingly, once J. Wellington Wimpy acquired what he wanted, he simultaneously displayed a reluctance to repay or honor his debt. Similarly, those in the bowels of debt rely heavily on the kindness of strangers, credit cards, borrowing, and (empty) promises to acquire things that they want, and in the most extreme cases, their basics like food, diapers,or medicine and often respond despondently when asked to repay or acknowledge outstanding balances.

3. The highly indebted invite big business into their lives.

There is one reason that corporations spend millions of dollars on advertisements annually--whether it be 30-second radio plugs, billboards, mass emails, glossy magazine and newspaper pullouts, regular prime-time commercial slots, or once-a-year events such as the SuperBowl. The reason is because it works. Psychologists, marketing teams, researchers, and focus groups are handsomely paid to gain insight into human want and insecurity for the sole purposes of manipulating this information to meet their financial bottomline.

The highly indebted,nonetheless, can be found flipping through magazines, purchasing tickets to car shows, strolling through malls, browsing sales items at online sites, and watching infomercials. In other words, they nurture a relationship with big business and its peddling machine. The only way to diminish the influence that big business has on the lives of the highly indebted is for them to break off all ties. In particular, the highly indebted has to spend time doing things that don't include spending or overexpose them to mass media tools of financial persuasion--reading a book, exploring a hobby, volunteering time, or strengthening familial relations.

4. The highly indebted suffer from selective amnesia.

Listen carefully to the story of a highly indebted person. It may sound like: " I just charged a couple of things to the credit cards... just to treat myself because I work hard and deserve something nice... got a little behind on payments... Then, all of a sudden... I was $5,000 in debt... I don't know how it all happened... It was just a couple of purchases. I don't remember charging all that much." One of the best cures for this condition is the creation of and adherence to a budget. A budget does not rely on the failed memory of the highly indebted because it is written and unconcerned and unmoved by the moods, impulses, and vacillation of the highly indebted. Employing direct deposit to and/or automatic withdrawals from checking and savings accounts also buffers the highly indebted from the negative effects of their condition. These tools ensure that the highly indebted avoid late fees, benefit from incremental debt reduction, engender savings, and ultimately establish a solid credit history and standing.

5. The highly indebted think with their "Id" and not their "Ego" and "Superego".

Austrian born psychotherapist Sigmund Freud introduced the concepts of "Id", "Ego", and "Superego" to explain the driving forces behind the human personality. Simply, the "Id" represents the part of our personality that is driven by the need to feel good at any given time without consideration to the reality of the situation. In other words, the "Id" is fueled by the pleasure principle and cares only about its singular and immediate gratification.

On the other hand, the "Ego" is the part of the personality that is governed by the reality principle, which means that it understands that impulsive behavior and solely self-serving agendas have negative consequences for the individual and others. Finally, the "Superego" extends the reality principle to the point of morality. In particular, the "Superego" houses an individual's moral and ethical boundaries.

Ideally, these three components work together to establish a healthy Self--one that mediates the urges of the "Id" with the rigidity of the "Superego." When it comes to the highly-indebted, the "Id" is the dominant segment of the personality as it relates to establishing (or ignoring) financial limits. Evidence of this can be as benign as stopping for a beef patty before you reach home even though your partner has prepared something to dinner or as problematic as quitting an undesirable job on a whim with a mortgage and family to support.

Time, Money, and Happiness

The life expectancy,--the average number of years to be lived by a group of people born in the same year, if mortality at each age remains constant in the future --of women and men in Zimbabwe is 40.5 years according to The 2007/ 2008 United Nations Development Programme report Human Development index, ranking it 151st out of 177 countries from which they have compiled data. The American Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) was a little less generous with time and projected that the average life expectancy for Zimbabwe women and men is 39.72 years; with males exceeding female life with 40.87 and 38.55 years respectively.

Ravages of poverty, chronic underdevelopment, and the endemic AIDS reality for many of our African brothers and sisters is a sobering reminder, that like money, capital, and other more tangible factors of production, time, too, is limited and the behaviors associated with what economists classically labeled "scarcity" have to be employed when dealing with this entity as relates to creating financially sound and spiritually rewarding decisions.

Think It, Plan It, Do It!

You are more likely to run out of time before you are to run out of money. This makes planning what you do with you money and for how long you do it that much more pressing. Last week, we focused our energies on uncovering the cost of the creative, the inexpensive, and the simple that bring joy into our lives. My short list included reading, dancing, writing, and meeting with friends for dinner. Identifying what brings you joy, however, is only part of the equation to happiness. The second and more practical component of this action plan is literally making time for it in your life. Please take 15 minutes to determine if you are devoting time to your happiness. It is often quite revealing that the things that we love to do the most, that enrich us, nurture our spirits, and center our lives are given no priority or attention in our daily lives.

10 Other Things That Make Me Happy &Time Spent on Happiness (weekly)

1. bubble baths 0 minutes

2.reading articles in Spanish 15 minutes

3. stretching 0-20 minutes

4.talking to my mother 4-5 hours

5.listening to salsa 2 hours

6.working on creative fiction pieces 30 minutes

7.making new friends 0 minutes

8.dancing in the mirror 20 minutes

9.lotioning with cocoa butter 1-2 hours

10. following up on Obama campaign 2-3 hours

Excuse Me, What are You Waiting For?

America is very fast paced. But who told you that you had to sprint? There will always be something to do, some agenda to siphon your time, some external catalyst to redirect or divide your attention--- something seemingly more important than nurturing your authentic self and aligning your money decisions with what satisfies you the most.

According to CIA statistics, life expectancy for Americans averages 78.14 years, 75.29 years and 81.13 for men and women respectively. We take for granted that there will be time to do everything, especially when compared to our kinfolk across the Atlantic. But the reality is that we will die eventually. Please make sure that you do not live a life full of regrets because you never identified or devoted time to your happiness.

Money Can Buy Happiness

Can Money Buy You Happiness?
We live in an extreme society. A society where we can find the morbidly obese and the fatally thin, both by personal choice and volition. A society where there are those that work eighty hours a week while there are those that refuse to work any. A society of ultraconservatives and "bleeding-heart" liberals.
With such a polarized society, it's not a shock to find the discussion about the relationship of money and happiness as equally dichotomous and mutually-exclusive. To some, money does not create happiness; in fact, it is the source of evil. On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have those that worship money, elevating it to a status of omnipotence and employing all means to make more of it. Money and happiness. Those elusive powers and agents. We expend most of our adult lives in search of an abundance of both, one often at the expense of the other. A wholistic approach to understanding their relationship and striving for both, then, is in order to strengthen and sustain our financial and spiritual lives.
When It Can and It Can't
Those that claim that money causes or creates problems and that it has no bearing on contentment and self-actualization need to take a more thoughtful look at the face of poverty within this country and outside of its borders. Money can buy happiness in the sense that it grants options and voice to those barred from experiencing the most basic human experience, which, at a minimum, include health, education, safety, and life purpose.

Once these fundamental needs are met, an increase in money begins to take on diminishing returns because of our human capacity to adapt to our environment.  This means two things. First, we get easily bored  once we have grown accustomed to a new comfort, whether it be  a new car, a new tummy and nose, vacation-home, or handbag. Secondly and equally important, we keep looking upwards and around at what the next level up has to offer. Newer. Shinier. Faster. Bigger.  Sexier. This cycle of using money to make purchases of increasingly more exotic, extreme, and intense locations and experiences in hopes of attaining a sliver of happiness is what behavioral economist coin, "the hedonistic treadmill".

And getting off of the treadmill is hard largely because Americans have been conditioned through overexposure to big business media not to think for themselves. Not thinking for yourself leads you to value the opinions of others more than your own.  Not thinking for yourself, additionally, puts you at odds with your authentic self and your personal truth. How many times have you been aware or noticed that following pattern: You are excited about the purchase of a particular item, fantasize about how it will complete your look, how important and sexy you will feel when you wear it or own it on your way to the counter or sales manager. You buy it. You're elated. You wear it and/or  use it a couple of times. Weeks pass by and you are you not as excited about that same item that produced such an intense sense of satisfaction as you were before. So, you go shopping, looking, and hoping for something new to catch your eye to make you feel important, alive, and centered again. 
Intuition would lead you to conclude, then, that shopping and buying a lot of different stuff is not going to fill that void,that thirst,  and that want to be fully present. EVER. Yet, you continue to do it because you somehow trust the fantasy of television more than you do your own gut. You would prefer to feel that something is wrong with you and perhaps you are not buying the right item or enough of it to bring you joy, so you venture to consume more excessively and deliberately. 

Stop This Treadmill! I Want to Get Off

Finding happiness with your money begins with first finding peace with yourself. This is not a call to throw away all of your worldly possessions or campaign to isolate yourself from the conveniences of modern society. What it is, however, is an appeal for you to reflect and unearth your values, interests, likes, and wants. Once you have uncovered who you are, you can then use your money to fund, enhance, and nurture these experiences. Below is an example of my interest and how much (or little) money I need to make me feel happy. Please take 15 minutes to do the same. You'll be surprised to discern if it is the nature of your spending and not necessarily the amount of money that you spend that is the source of your discontent or bliss. 

10 Things that Make Kara I. Stevens Happy & the  Cost of Happiness

1. pedicure    

$12 every three weeks 

2. dinner with girlfriends once a month           

$15-$20

3.long walks           

 $0

4.listening to live salsa               

$0- $15

5. clean bathroom                                                      

    $10 (cleaning products)

6.taking  black and white pictures                             

   $50-$75 a month for film and developing 

 7. taking an undergraduate Spanish course               

  $660 (community college tuition)

8. dancing Kompa  

$10 (cover charge)

9. writing  

$0

10. reading (borrowed books from the library)          

 $10 (overdue fees)

One, One Full Basket: The Case for Contemporary Cooperative Economics

Chico Rey and His Kingly Character
Last week, On the Money, ushered in a two-part discussion on the profitability of cooperative economics during the height of slavery in the Western Hemisphere. In particular, "One, One Full Basket: Chico Rey and Cooperative Economics" chronicled the financial acumen and leadership of Chico Rey, an enslaved African king who secured the freedom of his court, family, and himself through the practice of pooling money, resources, and abilities amongst community members.

Even though the canonized financial exploitation of Africans saw its end at the close of the 19th century in the Americas, 1865 and 1888, in the United States and Brazil, respectively, conditions of utter and outright economic despair continued as a reality for the African-American. Instead of fighting their way out of slavery, the chief priority shifted slightly, and only in the way of semantics. The experience of the African-American from 19th century until now has been one of overcoming abject poverty. And in similar suit, employing cooperative economics can and has been proven to be both socially and monetarily rewarding.

George Subira's Special Note to Black Women

The struggle to financial stability has especially been difficult for black women given the economic inequity of white pathriarchy, which often manifests itself in women shouldering the bulk of financial responsibility of single-parent parenthood. With the prevalence of female-headed households in our community, investing our time and effort to financially organize and empower this demographic may be one of our collective saving graces.

Well-respected money guru and Afrocentrist GeorgeTrower-Subira appealed to low-income black women to strengthen social networks as a means to individual prosperity in Black Folk's Guide to Making Big Money in America. In particular, he encouraged black single mothers to purchase real estate and provides a feasible model:

"Suppose two black women, each with three kids, wanted to own their own house. If each in working a day job and selling some comestics on the side, why can't they apply for a mortgage together to buy a three family house? They can rent two floors and live together on the first. A year or two later they get themselves in a position to buy another three family house, again buying it together. They rent all three units and the house just pays for itself..."

You Can't Run Away From Yourself

Trower-Subira's advises it for black women in the 'hood. .It's what founder of Kwanzaa, Dr. Maulana Karenga, labeled "Ujamaa," --Swahili for cooperative economics-- and championed its cultivation during the Black Power Movement. This principle, in particular, focused on the building, maintaining, and patronizing black-owned profit-generating institutions and businesses.

It's alive and well in the Caribbean as well. It's what Antiguans call "susu" or "box" Jamaicans refer to as "partners", Dominicans consider "san", those from Martinque call " sousou" and Haitians label, "sangue," "solde" and "comble". The practice is "esusu", a community-based form of mutual finance originating from the ancient Yoruba in Nigeria. In its simplest form, a number of people add a fixed amount of money to a common fund at specific intervals for a set period a time allowing rapid capital accumulation, interest-free loans, and forced savings.

This thing that we do, this thing that we practice, and this worldview that we hold--sharing, understanding the inextricable link of the social and the financial-- has its roots in the African principle of communal solidarity. Let's continue to build financial wealth through principles of mutuality, community accountability, and complementarity.

One, One Full Basket Part I: Cooperative Economics and Chico Rey

The Economics of Slavery

The system to which we, as those of African descent, have the most visceral psychological, emotional, cultural, and mental sentiments and responses is one with its roots in money. The driving force behind the Transatlantic Slave trade was the forging and strengthening of a global system based on economic exploitation. In the case of Africa, it was the systematic exploitation of its natural and human resources.

In the most widespread accounts of slavery, we hear of a rancid, blanket despair: rapid

disintegration of customs, beliefs, and family structures; broken spirits; weary bodies. Very few accounts, however, herald the enduring power of the African human spirit let alone the financial deft and vision of many of our heroes, whose stories remain untold. The story and legend of Chico Rey of Brazil serves as a quintessential example of the power of cooperative economics, patience, and hope.

One, One Full Basket: Cooperative Economics and Chico Rey

Chico Rey was an African king prior to being enslaved and transported to Brazil at the beginning of the 18th century. During the Middle Passage, he lost his wife and most of his children. One son survived the horror of the voyage. Once they arrived to Brazil, his son and he were bought by the same slavemaster and placed to work at a gold mine in Villa Rica, the capital of the province of Minas Gerais, located in the interior of Brazil. During his forced years of servitude, he was baptized and also forced to adopt the name, Francisco. As a sign of continued loyalty, admiration, and respect, his former subjects and countrymen affectionately referred to him as "Chico Rey." "Chico" is a nickname for "Francisco" in Brazil and "rey" means "king" in Portuguese.

This kingly character was driven by a vision and work ethic that focused on the liberation of his son, his people, and himself. To this end, he worked not only in the gold mines during the week, but he also worked for himself on Sundays and holidays for years in order to purchase his son's freedom. After his son was liberated, they both worked tirelessly to manumit Chico Rey. Once he and his son were free, together they worked and pooled their resources to secure the freedom of the king's subjects. Each subject would then, in turn, join the efforts to free the next. Little by little, they reunited Chico's court, bought a gold mine, and liberated other slaves in nearby areas.

As a testimony to the greatness and staying power of his people, Chico Rey later founded the brotherhood, Our Lady of Rosary, the patron icon of blacks, and constructed a church in her honor with the same name. Once a year, Chico Rey, his queen, and members of his court would

hold a service and procession in honor of the patron. Those that participated in this ceremony wore their most beautiful, expensive, and elaborately decorated attire. Women decorated their hair with bits of gold, which they would eventually wash under the image of Our Lady of Rosary with 'holy water' in the church. This gold was ultimately used for the liberation of other slaves. Brilliant!

Even though Villa Rica has been renamed, Ouro Preto, the annual feast of Our Lady of Rosary continues to be a mainstay in the cultural and historical fabric of the Afro-Brazilian experience. The history of Chico Rey inspires us to keep trying a little harder, plan a little more carefully, and prioritize with a little more confidence, and endeavor with a little more cooperation to overcome the legacy of a financial reality rooted in disenfranchisement and inequity.

Diversification is Key Part II : 22 Different Ways to Say "Financially Giving"

Wanna Be A Baller, Shot Caller?

Society approximates lavish living, free spending, and the acquisition of obscenely unnecessary items with happiness, power, and control. As a society, we also view those that spend on others as kinder, nicer, and better-spirited than their financially conservative counterparts, even though these categorizations are not directly correlated. Being generous with money for the sake of appearances and greasing the spokes of the networking cipher is very different from being free with money for charitable causes. These acts, in terms of movement, motivation,  sentiment, are completely diametrical. Thankfully, there are dozens of words available to aid us in distinguishing amongst the "financially giving":

altruistic (adj.) unselfish concern for the welfare of others.

benevolent (adj.) generous in providing aid to others.

eleemosynary (adj.) open-hearted in giving assistance to the poor.

excessive (adj.) an amount or quantity beyond what is normal or sufficient.

extravagant (adj.) exceeding reasonable bounds.

generous (adj). liberal in giving or sharing.

headlong (adj.) unthoughtful; often reckless actions.

heedless (adj.) carelessness or lack of responsiblity or proper regard for consequences.

hasty (adj). hurried, often in the ways of making decisions.

lavish (adj.) immoderate in giving or bestowing; unstinting.

improvident (adj). not providing for the future.

imprudent (adj.) a lack of caution in practical affairs; unwise.

impulsive (adj.) inclined to act on sudden urges or desires rather than reason or careful deliberation.

madcap (adj.) behaving wildly; rashly.

precipitate (adj.) acting with or marked by excessive haste and lack of due deliberation; lack of due reflection.

prodigal (adj.) given to or marked by unrestrained abundance.

profligate (adj.) characterized by wasteful, lavish, and unnecessary spending.

scattergood (n.) a person who spends money or resources wastefully

slapdash (adj.) unthinking boldness and haste

thriftless  (adj.) reckless, especially in the use of material resources.

wastrel (n.) a person who spends money or resources wastefully

Who Are You When No One is Watching?

The "Lady in Red" in Ntozake Shange's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf narrates how leading a double life burdens the authentic self with grief and emptiness.  On the outside, the woman that the "lady in red" speaks of is well-dressed, sexy, charming, and the secret desire for most men. Her image commands attention and gave her a sense of identity and power:

orange butterflies & aqua sequins

esconsed tween slight bosoms

silk roses dartin from behind her ears

the passion flower of southwest los angeles...

she let her thigh slip from her skirt

crossin the street

she slowed to be examined

& she never looked back to smile

or acknowledge a sincere 'hey mama'...

delighted she was desired

&and allowed those especially

schemin/tactful suitors

to experience her body & spirit...

When, however, she became grounded in the reality that she in fact wanted love and understanding rather than superficial unions, she  experienced great pain in admitting to her vulnerability. She experienced even greater pain when  she knowingly behaved in ways that continued to overlook her needs. 

laying in the water

she became herself

ordinary

brown braided woman

with big legs & full lips

reglar...

she wd gather her tinsel&

jewels from the tub

&laugh gayly or vengeful

she stored her silk roses in her bed

&when she finished writin

the account of her exploit in a diary

embroidered with lilies & moonstones

she placed the rose behind her ear

& cried herself to sleep. 

As it relates to our finances, when all of the pats on the back, looks of envy, accolades from acquaintances and strangers, and fleeting moments of self-importance and power dissipate, what do you have to show for yourself? Lost time, unaccounted for debt, a bruised ego, self-doubt, and a shaky financial future? If you find that your spending is causing you to live a life that is not aligned with what you can afford or who are you really are, chances are that you are using money and the spending of it as a proxy for something else. (i.e. love, status, importance, intimacy, purpose, security, happiness). If, however, in giving to others, you are simultaneously taking care of you and yours, you are fortunate and wise enough to have found a balance as it relates to (spending) money and happiness. Congratulations!

Diversification is Key Part I : 22 Different Ways to Say "Cheap"

That was a Cheap Shot

Not many people are comfortable with being labeled "cheap" because of the negative connotation attached to this word. Being cheap not only typifies a reluctance to spend money, but it also projects an extreme level of selfishness that transcends financial concern and often alludes to moral, social, and ethical dysfunction.  Not everyone that is reluctant to spend money, however, is cheap. Cheap is a misnomer placed on the frugal and provident, who, more than not wanting to spend money, are most concerned with minimizing waste and excess of any kind. 

What Did You Call Me?

Below are 22 different ways to distinguish, characterize, and explain the divergence amongst the financially cautious. Which best suit you?

1. avaricious (adj). greedy; immoderately desirous of acquiring

2. cadger (n.) someone who tries to get something for free.

3. canny (adj.) shrewd; especially where one's own interests are concerned

       having or showing clever awareness and resourcefulness in practical matters

4. chary (adj.) trying attentively to avoid danger, risk, or error

5. chinchy (adj.) embarrassingly frugal

6. chintzy (adj.) unforgivably ungenerous

7.churl (n) a rude, boorish person; a miserly person; a medieval English peasant

8.costive (adj.) stingy; sluggish; causing constipation

9.economical (adj.) prudent and thrift in management; not wasteful or extravagant

10.frugal (adj) very careful with money

11.mingy (adj.) mean and tight; stingy

12.miserly (adj.) lacking generosity 

13.niggard (n.) a stingy; grasping person; niggardly (adj.) stingy; miserly

14.parsimonious (adj). excessively frugal; too economical

15.penurious (adj.) unwilling to spend money; yielding little

16.provident (adj.) providing carefully for the future; relating to the mindful development and use of resources.fore

17.scrimy (adj). petty and reluctant in giving or spending

18.scrounger (n.) someone who seeks to obtain through begging or borrowing without intention of repaying.

19. shnorrer (n.) someone that takes advantage of the generosity of others

20.skinflint (n.) a selfish person who is unwilling to spend or to give.

21.stingy (adj.) ungenerously or pettily reluctant to spend money

22. thrifty (adj.) careful in the use of material resources

Strike a Balance

In our efforts to secure a solid, plentiful financial future, we must remember to attend to our present selves as well. If you find that saving is ruining or lowering your standard of living, your intimate relationships, or your overall mental and emotional health, it may be important to address the psychological underpinnings of your behavior. If, however, you feel more confident, secure, and well taken care of both in the present and for your future each time you squirrel a little money away... then I say, Save On! Save On! 

Wow, You're a Life-Saver! Part II

Repetition is the Essence of Pedagogy

In the last column, we focused our attention on five financial tools of engagement that life-savers use to not only thwart monetary self-sabotage, but also hone proactive, capital accumulating practices:

1. Life-Savers carry calculators

2. Life-Savers carry big bills.

3. Life-Savers carry business cards.

4. Life-Savers carry pen and notepad.

5. Life-Savers carry chips on their shoulders. 

Practice with Principle Makes Perfect

Life-saving is not just about tools and practical tips. Life-saving is a philosophy and way of life based on principles of personal accountability, delayed gratification, balance, single-mindedness, and creativity. In order to practice the habits of life-savers, it is crucial to first internalize their underlying philosophies. 

Life-Savers do not hate, they appreciate (literally).

Saving money would be easy if the products and services that corporate masterminds introduce and push had no style, added little convenience to life, and did not cater to human vanity. But they do! Sitting on a $4,000 leather couch imported from Italy may evoke the feeling of being ensconced in velvet, silk, satin, and other materials soft and buttery to the touch. Navigating the curves and turns of a windy road with ease in a $40,000 luxury car also elicits intense sensations that range from excitement and peace to invincibility and control.  Similarly, purchasing trendy clothing, designer shoes, and lavish accessories stroke the human psyche's craving for immediate gratification, want of recognition, and desire for (perceived) superiority.

Life-savers are realists and do not disparage the allure, aesthetic, and appeal of these type of items. What life-savers as realists clearly understand, however,  is that these items depreciate (often exponentially) after years of wear-and-tear, once driven off the showroom floor, and if not taken care of. Instead, life-savers buy items that conserve their value and appreciate in 

worth : index funds, mutual funds, 401ks, continuing education courses, commercial and residential properties, copyrights, and art and leave fantasies of the acquisition of excessive material trappings for fairy tales. 

Life-Savers  prefer inconspicuous consumption over conspicuous consumption. 

The motivation behind conspicuous consumption is the want to impress others and convey an elevated socioeconomic--whether true or not. The purchase of visually stimulating items such cars, clothes, mansions, yachts, country-club memberships, and electronics project and promote this image.

Conversely, inconspicuous consumption gives the impression that one is of low or moderate means and status. Life-savers thrive on this perception. It not only eliminates the jealousy and envy that may accompany the flaunting one's good fortune, but it also minimizes risk for robbery and injury. In other words, subscribing to a philosophy of inconspicuous consumption allows life-savers to build wealth through high-income earning, low attention-grabbing assets (i.e. land, stock, bonds, leases) while maintaining their financial privacy and anonymity.

Life-Savers rebel with a cause.  

Most of America is financially illiterate and financially reactionary. This makes those that are fiscally savvy and proactive in wealth accumulation stand out and stand alone. They live below their means, differentiate between wants and needs, safeguard against unnecessary debt, protect their credit scores, create emergency funds, take advantage of tax-shelter options such as tax-deferred annuities (TDA), individual retirement accounts (IRAs) and other  long-term economic planning. 

Knowledge and insight garnered through study and practice comfort life-savers as they  encounter the glaring manifestations of financial ignorance-- disdain, suspicion, exclusion, and mockery from chronic spendthrifts--while on their long and often lonely journeys toward financial security and prosperity. 

Life-savers prepare for the worse, hoping for the best. 

Not everything goes according to plan. Despite attention-to-detail, hardwork, and immaculate planning, there are things that are essentially out of our control. (i.e. natural disasters, accidents, death). With life being unexpected in nature, life-savers buffer themselves from unforeseen financial blows by always accounting for them in their planning. They keep emergency funds, insurance contacts, and liquid financial reserves updated and readily available. 

Life-Savers worry about their names, not brand names. 

 Your reputation and history for repaying loans and handling debt is crucial when you are seeking to establish a solid financial identity, especially in the eyes of loaning agencies. Your credit score, the numerical indicator of your creditworthiness, dictates your level of success in applying for loans, securing investors, or even purchasing a cellphone. 

As a result, life-savers pay close attention to what they sign their names to. They understand that in agreeing to the terms of a loan, a new account, or credit card that they are ultimately responsible for managing payments. This is particularly why life-savers are averse to co-signing loans, agreeing to open accounts in "my mama name", and establishing joint checking and savings accounts even with the closest of loved ones. 

Wow, You're a Life-Saver! Part I

Be a Life-Saver!
Talks of an imminent recession, massive layoffs, surges in the prices of wheat, housing and mortgage slumps, and an increasingly impotent dollar are causing widespread concern for the financial future of the average American. Now, is as good a time any to discuss the importance of being a saver for life or "lifesaver." In the next two columns, we will explore revolutionary, yet seemingly trivial tools and ways of thinking that keep lifesavers more adept at absorbing the impact of external threats to their financial peace of mind and purchasing power.
Below are five basic tools that lifesavers use to defend themselves against corporate agenda, piracy,and peddling.

Life-Savers Carry Calculators
Keeping a calculator handy, whether the one on your cellphone, in your purse, or in between your ears, saves you from succumbing to alluring discount offers and seductive sales pitches. Once you realize that 20% off of $200 is actually $60 more than the $100 that you wanted to initially spend, you'll be more discerning and wary of department store bargains and holiday sales.

Using a calculator while shopping also helps you to discern when there in fact is a bargain, even though it is not so apparent. For example, last week I went to a buy hair conditioner. The four-ounce bottle cost $10, while the eight-ounce bottle cost $15. My initial thought was to buy the four-ounce bottle, but a quick calculation made me see that it would be in my best interest to buy the larger bottle now and save myself $5, in addition to transportation or other non-related costs that would accompany the purchase of another four-ounce bottle at a later date.


Life-Savers Carry Pen and Notepad
The necessity of pen and notepad as tools of proactive saving often go overlooked. Not only should you use these tools to create lists of items and estimated prices before you leave the house, you should also use this list to guage the completion of a task. More importantly, carrying pen and notepad allows you to jot down better prices, patterns in your spending, lucrative opportunities, and financial tips in one place.

Keeping all of this data in one location proves key. Over a period of time, these financial journals illuminate financial priorities (or lack thereof), business ideas, and serve as reference for invaluable human and capital resources.

Life-Savers Carry Business Cards
Those that commit to a life-saving lifestyle are prepared to absorb the financial shock of life's unexpected events because of their long-term money mindset. Equally important, they prepare for financial opportunity in the present. That is, their proclivity for planning and practicality also allows them to take advantage of opportunities to network and embark on money-saving or money-making ventures when least expected. To this end, they keep updated business cards on their person at all times. This facilitates the broadening of their social base and projects to those with whom they encounter a level of business savvy and creative maturity.

Life-Savers Carry Big Bills
The largest denomination of money in this country are $50 and $100 bills. Generally speaking, consumers usually reserve them for large purchases such as electronics, furniture, and or appliances. Conversely, consumers reluctantly use big bills to buy packs of gum, magazines, or quick bites to eat when they have no change. Life-savers understand that carrying big bills, like $50, make them less prone to frittering way their money on small purchases. With big bills, they are more easily able to monitor when bills are broken and when change is made. (Think: It's easier to keep track and more painful to spend four $50 bills than ten $20 bills or twenty $10 bills.)

Life-Savers Carry Chips on Their Shoulders
Most people go shopping with an aim to spend money. That is, they do not need much persuasion to spend money because in fact, they want to spend. They consider malls, salespersons, and outlets inviting, nonthreating, and without motive. On the other hand, a life-savers money mindset is the exact opposite. They enter commercial areas playing financial defense. They understand stores, shops, and others of commerce to be deliberate, purposeful, and predatory to their future financial security. As a result, they need proof, reason, and rationale as to why they should spend their money because their principal financial aim is to keep it.

"Mind Your Own Business": Teaching Financial Literacy and Entrepreneurship to Our Children

Gimme Yo' Lunch Money

 I found it when I was nine. Farrah Gray, author of Reallionaire and Get Real, Get Rich found it when he was seven;  my third grade students found it last year.

The relationship between good financial hygiene and the pursuit of endless possibility. 

In fourth grade, I rented out my erasable pens for $0.25 each as the class transitioned from writing in pencil and in print to writing in script and in pen. By the time I was eleven, I had moved on to peddling posters from Right On magazine for $0.50 and $1.00, for small pictures and pull-out pictures of the then-hottest celebrities, respectively. Farrah Gray, the African-American mogul that become a millionaire by the age of fourteen, started selling home-made lotions door-to-door in the projects of Chicago's Southside. Last year, each of my third-grade students received a piggy-bank, which I expressly remarked was exclusively for contributing to their college funds. 

Awakening Their Financial Genius  

This proclivity for financial awareness and understanding of the benefits of entrepreneurship are direct indicators of financial literacy. Expert accounts of American households with average amounts of credit card debt as high as $9,000 in 2007, increases in the rental of shortage units, and the surge in the interest and number of housekeeping reality shows, however, point to the glaring levels of financial illiteracy throughout this country. 

Despite the severity of  this widespread and ever-deepening social problem,  mandatory financial curricula continue to be absent from most primary and secondary schools' core educational priorities. This means that teaching our children about money, entrepreneurship, and healthy spending habits has to begin at home:

1.   Watch television and flip through magazines with them to analyze the role that commercials and advertisements play to encourage 'group-think' and mass consumption.  Children and young adults in tune with much of pop culture turn a blind eye to the reasons why they buy certain labels at certain times.  They honestly believe that they purchase them  from their own volition. If at this stage in their development they profess their individuality and autonomy, why then, do many strive to look, dress, smell, and posture in identical manners to their peers? The manner in which they conform, that is-- what they consider worthy of buying, wearing, drinking, saying, and driving --comes from social cues orchestrated and controlled by seemingly innocuous suggestions and subliminal reminders of what should constitute their external identity and internal values. 

2.  Identify symptoms of  impulse buying and implement strategies to thwart its influence.

Many of us, including children and young adults, experience an increase in heart-rate, sweaty hands, and a trance-like state when we are overcome to buy on impulse. While it is important to acknowledge the sensation, it is of greater importance to implement impulse-related rules of engagement to spare your future of financial difficulties: Walk directly out of the store and to your car. Repeat your favorite money mantra.  Keep all ATM cards and credit cards in house before you leave the house. Give yourself a 48-hour rule: If there is a purchase over $20 that you want to make, think about for 48 hours. Once you have given physical and mental distance between you and the item, your impulse to buy would have waned or completely died all together. 

3. Educate them. 

For lower-elementary school students (K-2), books like It's a Habit, Sammy Rabbit celebrates a rabbit that saves its carrots and fosters early savings habits, while books like All For the Better follows  how a Puerto Rican family in El Barrio consistently saves money to support their extended family in Puerto Rico during the Great Depression is more appropriate for upper-elementary school students, (3-5). Similarly, The Center for Black Business History, Entrepreneurship, and Technology provides information on the four century tradition of black business activities from slavery to freedom in the United States for more advanced readers. 

4. Set financial goals and expectations for them. 

 Open a saving accounts with them and have them make bi-monthly contributions. Insist that they pay in full or in-part bills (i.e. cell phone, nails, entertainment, shopping). This instills a sense of responsibility. Having them play an active role in their financial lives will also streamline their priorities and understanding between a "want" and a "need" once they will not be getting it free. If you allot an allowance, maintain strict rules that restrict advances, discourage borrowing, and create  incentives to save. (i.e. providing matching funds)

5. Encourage an entrepreneurial spirit. 

 Our children possess an array of intellectual, artistic, political, and cultural  talents, passions, and interests. Allow these predilections to become  potential sources of income. If your child the teacher's pet? Let invaluable skills such as excellent reading, strong organizational skills,  reliability, and congeniality be the beginnings of an educational enterprise for her/him. Is your child particularly athletic, fashionable, handy? Allow him/her to train, design, and fix for a fee around the neighborhood.

It Takes a Village to Raise a Mogul

There are several programs available to elementary, middle, and high school students interested in learning about microenterprises, the workings of start-up companies, and the nuances of self-employment. Below are programs, agencies, and organizations that equip our youth with key entrepreneurial skills and opportunities to secure funding for their enterprises.

These opportunities make a great complement the financial instruction that you do at home.The resources listed below are by no mean exhaustive. 

• National Foundation for Teaching Entrepreneurship (NFTE) teaches high school students how to start and run a small business. Students have the opportunity to gain work-based experiences, develop leadership skills, and boost their self-esteem.
  
• Junior Achievement focuses on preparing American youth for the demands of a global economy. Through age-appropriate curricula, activities, and training, students of all ages learn about the market economy, work-readiness, entrepreneurship, and money-management.  
• Black Enterprises Kidpreneur/Teenpreneur Conference targets African-American youth, ages 7-17 for workshops that range from increasing interest in business and creating business plans to managing and establishing microenterprises. 
• Students in Free Enterprise is an international organizations that grooms college-level students for socially responsible entrepreneurial endeavors. They provide credit-card counseling, free enterprise project implementation, and professional mentorship. 
  
• U.S. Small Business Administration Teen Business Link provides a slew of links and resources to mentoring programs, academic scholarships, and internship opportunities. 

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