Wanna Be A Baller, Shot Caller?
Society approximates lavish living, free spending, and the acquisition of obscenely unnecessary items with happiness, power, and control. As a society, we also view those that spend on others as kinder, nicer, and better-spirited than their financially conservative counterparts, even though these categorizations are not directly correlated. Being generous with money for the sake of appearances and greasing the spokes of the networking cipher is very different from being free with money for charitable causes. These acts, in terms of movement, motivation, sentiment, are completely diametrical. Thankfully, there are dozens of words available to aid us in distinguishing amongst the "financially giving":
altruistic (adj.) unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
benevolent (adj.) generous in providing aid to others.
eleemosynary (adj.) open-hearted in giving assistance to the poor.
excessive (adj.) an amount or quantity beyond what is normal or sufficient.
extravagant (adj.) exceeding reasonable bounds.generous (adj). liberal in giving or sharing.
headlong (adj.) unthoughtful; often reckless actions.
heedless (adj.) carelessness or lack of responsiblity or proper regard for consequences.
hasty (adj). hurried, often in the ways of making decisions.
lavish (adj.) immoderate in giving or bestowing; unstinting.
improvident (adj). not providing for the future.
imprudent (adj.) a lack of caution in practical affairs; unwise.
impulsive (adj.) inclined to act on sudden urges or desires rather than reason or careful deliberation.
madcap (adj.) behaving wildly; rashly.
precipitate (adj.) acting with or marked by excessive haste and lack of due deliberation; lack of due reflection.
prodigal (adj.) given to or marked by unrestrained abundance.
profligate (adj.) characterized by wasteful, lavish, and unnecessary spending.
scattergood (n.) a person who spends money or resources wastefully
slapdash (adj.) unthinking boldness and haste
thriftless (adj.) reckless, especially in the use of material resources.
wastrel (n.) a person who spends money or resources wastefully
Who Are You When No One is Watching?
The "Lady in Red" in Ntozake Shange's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf narrates how leading a double life burdens the authentic self with grief and emptiness. On the outside, the woman that the "lady in red" speaks of is well-dressed, sexy, charming, and the secret desire for most men. Her image commands attention and gave her a sense of identity and power:
orange butterflies & aqua sequins
esconsed tween slight bosoms
silk roses dartin from behind her ears
the passion flower of southwest los angeles...
she let her thigh slip from her skirt
crossin the street
she slowed to be examined
& she never looked back to smile
or acknowledge a sincere 'hey mama'...
delighted she was desired
&and allowed those especially
schemin/tactful suitors
to experience her body & spirit...
When, however, she became grounded in the reality that she in fact wanted love and understanding rather than superficial unions, she experienced great pain in admitting to her vulnerability. She experienced even greater pain when she knowingly behaved in ways that continued to overlook her needs.
laying in the water
she became herself
ordinary
brown braided woman
with big legs & full lips
reglar...
she wd gather her tinsel&
jewels from the tub
&laugh gayly or vengeful
she stored her silk roses in her bed
&when she finished writin
the account of her exploit in a diary
embroidered with lilies & moonstones
she placed the rose behind her ear
& cried herself to sleep.
As it relates to our finances, when all of the pats on the back, looks of envy, accolades from acquaintances and strangers, and fleeting moments of self-importance and power dissipate, what do you have to show for yourself? Lost time, unaccounted for debt, a bruised ego, self-doubt, and a shaky financial future? If you find that your spending is causing you to live a life that is not aligned with what you can afford or who are you really are, chances are that you are using money and the spending of it as a proxy for something else. (i.e. love, status, importance, intimacy, purpose, security, happiness). If, however, in giving to others, you are simultaneously taking care of you and yours, you are fortunate and wise enough to have found a balance as it relates to (spending) money and happiness. Congratulations!
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